Emotional Intelligence
and Leadership
A Training Program Designed to Improve
Emotional Intelligence and Leadership
for School Leaders
Dr Helen Kalaboukas and
Professor Con Stough.
Program Overview
Session 1
 Emotional Intelligence (EI) & Leadership
 Self Directed Change and the “Ideal Self”
Session 2
 Developing Leadership
 Optimal Performance
 The Five Discoveries
Session 3
 Becoming a Resonant Leader
 Developing the Emotional Reality of Teams
 Creating Sustainable Change
Session 1: The “Ideal Self” Master Plan
You in Five, Ten or Fifteen years from Now
 Living your “ideal life”
 Developing a Vision - free writing/talking about this
 What kind of people around you?
 What kind of environment?
 A typical day or week
The “Ought” versus the “Ideal” Self
 Exploring and linking learning goals with dreams and
aspirations about the future
The Ever – Changing Ideal
A Personal Ideal Vision/Image
 A guide for our decisions
 A barometer of our sense of satisfaction in life
A Leader’s Shared Vision for the Organization
 In tune with the others’ vision
 To be open to others’ hopes and dreams
1. What are your Core Values in each of the following arenas of
your life?
 Physical health
 Family
 Relationships
 Work
 Spirituality
2. Make a List
1-27 All the things you want to do or experience in life
Some questions for discussion
Best leaders in the world
Nurture over Nature
Who is the leader you admire?
Are leaders born or made?
What is leadership?
Leadership is …..
Testing for Leaders
Psychologist D. Laird found five skills required for leaders:
Can you deal with a serious insult without exploding?
Can you get through a bad period without being
Can you laugh together with other people when you are the
butt of their laughter?
Do you have enough energy to keep going when everything
goes wrong?
Can you keep calm in emergency situations?
Leaders and Leadership
Barns in 1978 first proposed that::
“Leadership is something different from leaders, that
is leader traits and behaviours ”
“Leadership is the reciprocal process of mobilizing,
by persons with certain motives and values, various
economic, political and other resources, in a
context of competition and conflict, in order to
realize goals independently or mutually held by
both leaders and followers”
The old and the “emerging” paradigms of L.
The old paradigms have focused mainly on
task oriented or relations oriented
directive or participative
autocratic or democratic
related exchange theories
The old paradigms of Leadership ignored effects on
leader-follower relations on the sharing of vision,
symbolism, imaging, and sacrifice
and the two major factors in Leadership,
that is: measuring activity and effectiveness
Leadership and Management.
“The fundamental difference between leadership
and management lies in their respective functions
for organizations and for society. The function of
Leadership is to create change while the function of
management is to create stability”.
Barker, R.A. (1970)
Leadership and Management cont’es
Leadership creates new patterns of action and new
belief systems.
Management protects stabilised patterns and
The function of management regarding change is to
anticipate change and to adapt to it, but not create
The Avolio and Bass Model (MLQ)
The Three Leadership Styles
1. Transformational Leadership
Idealised Attributes
Idealised Behaviours
Inspirational Motivation
Intellectual Stimulation
Individual Consideration
MLQ - The three Leadership Styles (cont’es)
2. Transactional Leadership
Contingent Rewards
Management by Exception (Active)
Management by Exception (Passive)
3. Laissez-faire Leadership
The Leadership Repertoire - Goleman
 Moves people towards shared vision
 When changes require a new vision or when a clear direction is
 Connects what a person wants with the organization’s goals
 To help an employee improve performance by building long-term
 Creates harmony by connecting people to each other
 To heal rifts in a team, to strengthen connections, to motivate
during stressful times
The Leadership Repertoire – cont’es
 Values people’s input and gets commitment through participation
 To build buy-in or consensus, or to get valuable input from
 Meets challenging and exciting goals
 To get high-quality results from a motivated and competent team
 Soothes fears by giving clear directions in an emergency
 To kick-start a turnaround, in a crisis or with problem employees
TLQ - The Metcalfe Model
Genuine concern for others
Political sensitivity and skills
Decisiveness, determination, self-confidence
Integrity, trustworthy, honest and open
Empowers, develops potential
Inspirational networker and promoter
Accessible, approachable
Clarifies boundaries, involves others in decisions
Encourages critical and strategic thinking
Developing Shared Leadership in Teams
High levels of trust among members, results in a
willingness to sacrifice short term gain for longterm potential
Team members have a solid belief in themselves,
the team, and its collective mission
Members readily identify with the team mission and
are committed to and inspired by it
Developing Shared Leadership in Teams (cont’es)
Conflict over different perspectives is valid and
encouraged, often resulting in profound knowledge
Each individual considers it his or her responsibility
to develop the potential of their associates
Goleman, Boyatzis, Mc Kee, Primal leadership 2002
Action Learning Teams and Projects
Must be strategic in nature, multidimensional, ambiguous
and new.
There must be active executive-level sponsorship in
determining the projects and working with the teams.
Teams must work on the projects creating a healthy climate,
maintaining functional norms, using EI, dealing with conflict,
focussing on learning rather than achievement, and so on.
Action Learning Teams and Projects (cont’es)
The process of learning needs to be examined, and this
examination needs to be expected as part of the outcome.
The projects need to be highly visible.
Resources must be dedicated to the teams, and in particular
people need to be released, to some extend, from normal
duties to work on the projects.
Goleman, Boyatzis, Mc Kee, Primal Leadership 2002
Learning Styles
Learn by modelling / Model building
Learn from past experience / Concrete experience
Learn from theory / Reflection
Learn by experimenting / Trial – and – error learning
A Transformational Leader
“Thomas J. Watson, Sr. laid the foundation for
decades of success at IBM by providing a vision
that the company must provide the best service for
the customer for IBM to prosper. This vision was
reinforced in recruiting, reward and training
systems throughout many years and helped to
provide a common focus of excellence for the
Robert T Keller, professor of Management, University of Houston, Texas
Work in Groups:
Choose three leaders and identify their styles and
Action Learning Teams to start working on
developing ground rules and a vision and
Keep working on your “Ideal Self” Master Plan
Developing an Emotional State
Participants to experiment with emotions and
emotional states
Choose an emotional state: e.g. confident, resolved,
easy-going, content
Practice “I feel powerful/successful” and “I feel
Rate the emotion from 1(not at all) to 10 (most I’ve
ever felt)
Then change body posture and repeat
Developing Co-coaching
Participants to find a co-coach and work on
Forming a trusting and confidential relationship
Encouraging EI development
Practicing new learning
Supporting achievement
Reviewing performance
Work in pairs:
You are very angry. The phone rings. You are
expecting a very important phone call. What do you
During a brief meeting with the boss, Tom was told
that his position has being eliminated. (Role-play)
Creating a Resourceful State
Remember a moment when you felt “I can do
anything” or “I feel very healthy”
Relieve the experience
Choose your anchor and or a “key word”
Aim to retain this emotion/state for a day
Keep practicing until you can easily access as
Transferring a Resourceful State in 7 steps
1. Identify the “current situation” and the “goal” you
want to achieve
2. Choose the “resourceful state” that can transfer
you to the “goal”
3. Find a past experience with this state.
4. Make a circle in front of you and step into in order
to associate
Transferring a Resourceful State (cont’es)
5. Relive the experience fully in the way you want to by
focussing on
What happens when you feel this?
What do you see, hear, smell, taste?
What do you tell yourself?
6. Step out and find a physical anchor to elicit the state. Step
back into the circle again and again to amplify the state
further. Refresh your anchor
7. Step out and find a key word (e.g. “go”). Step back into the
circle again together with the anchor and the key word.
Repeat 5-8 times.
The ABCs of Emotions
A is for an Activating event
B is for Belief or thought
C is for the emotional Consequence
The ABCs of Emotions – C. Stough
There can be many different types of As such as a
person, an action or an environmental event
B’s can be your thought processes or beliefs and
can irrational
C’s are the emotions as a consequence to your
interpretation or your beliefs associated to the
activated event
Examine the connections between ABC when you
feel an emotion you don’t want
ERE – Development Options
DON’T try to become more emotional at work, this is not
what this dimension is all about
Become more conscious, in general, of your emotions at
Consider how you feel and the appropriateness of your
emotions in comparison to the situation causing them
Try to become more conscious of the accuracy with which
you are conveying how you feel to others at work
Is your body language, facial expression, tone of voice, etc,
appropriate or being conveyed in a professional manner?
UE – Development Options
Start paying attention to the emotions of others,
their body language, facial expression, tone of voice
– nuances and subtleties
Consider the reasons why people are displaying
certain emotions at work and the appropriateness of
their emotions in comparison to the level at which
they are displayed
Attend to the emotional overtone of workplace
environments, staff meetings, etc
UE – Development Options (cont’es)
Watch the way people react when you are trying to
build rapport with them
Observe the way people behave emotionally with
each other, to what extend do they get along and so
Identify the “stars” in your workplace. Start paying
more attention to the ways they interact with
EDC – Development Options
Consider how you feel about different options when decision
making at work and about how those choices may affect
both you and others on an emotional level
Listen to your “gut feelings” or intuitive thoughts and weigh
them up against the facts or technical knowledge you have
in front of you
Think back on a decision you made based on analyzing facts
but not taking into consideration your feelings about that
Try not to make decisions on the basis of your feelings or
rational thoughts alone, but incorporate both in your
planning and actions
EM - Development Options
Be more aware of pessimistic thoughts and negative
feelings and try to consider them in a more objective and
less emotional way
Use more optimism and look for positive affirmation in both
your own and your colleagues/subordinates daily work and
Try not to let weakness and/or failures get you or others
“down” and promote them as something to learn from and
as a developmental opportunity - “TRANSFORMATION”
Foster positive emotions in the workplace by providing
encouraging feedback to others, acknowledging
achievements and showing appreciation
EC - Development Options
Stop and think what is causing strong emotions at
work, identify the issues and /or problems
Establish “calming techniques” when strong
emotions arise e.g. counting to 10, controlled
breathing, taking a walk or a short break, etc
Looking after yourself, physical exercise,
meditation, yoga, ti-chi, etc. some organizations
offer such classes as a stress reliever
Prof. C. Stough
Common Errors in Thinking
Discounting positive information
Jumping to a negative conclusion
Going beyond the facts
 Using absolutes to describe events
 More dire than justified
 Faulty prediction
 Invalid allocation of responsibility
 Invalid conclusions about motives
 Using only dichotomous categories
 And many more
The EI Leader’s Competencies – Goleman
 Self awareness
 Emotional self-awareness
 Accurate self-assessment
 Self confidence
 Self-management
 Self-control
 Transparency
 Adaptability
 Achievement
 Initiative
 Optimism
The EI Leader’s Competencies (cont’es)
 Social Awareness
 Empathy
 Organizational Awareness
 Service
 Relationship Management
 Inspiration
 Influence
 Developing others
 Change catalyst
 Conflict management
 Teamwork and collaboration
The EI Leader’s Blueprint
You are a regional sales manager, and your team
has not met its current quarterly sales goal. Not
pleased with yet another problem quarter, you call a
sales meeting, making it clear that everyone must
attend. As the fifteen sales people enter the meeting
room you…
The EI Leader’s Emotional Blueprint
You should include:
Identifying how people feel
Understanding the reasons for these feelings
Using their feelings to direct their thinking
Managing to stay open to the data in feelings
Use the information to make optimal decisions
Session 2: Developing Leadership
Barker (1997) presents a different view of Leadership as a
community development process and an alternative to
traditional leadership approaches and he points out the
differences between:
Managerial training focusing on skills to
 Solve problems
 Motivate people
 Accomplish goals
 Minimize uncertainty
 Avoid blame for uncontrollable outcomes
Developing Leadership (cont’es)
Executive development focusing on personal traits
and characteristics, in developing reflective insight
and interpretation and in preparing the manager
physically and mentally to cope with
 Organizational politics
 Unreasonable expectations
 Incompatible co-workers and subordinates
 Conflicting requirements for action
What Leaders and Managers Do
Building effective teams
Planning and Deciding Effectively
Motivating People
Communicating a Vision
Promoting Change
Creating Effective Interpersonal Relationships
Caruso and Salovey (2004)
Goleman - The First Discovery:
The Ideal Self – Who do I want to be?
-where would you be sitting?
-what kind of people would be around you?
-what does the environment looks like and feels like?
-what might you be doing during a typical day?
Just let the image develop and place you in the picture.
Don’t worry about the feasibility of creating this kind of ideal
Goleman - The Second Discovery
The Real Self – Who am I? What are my strengths and
Uncovering the reality: how do you see yourself and
how others see you?
You need to develop an understanding of your
leadership strengths and gaps – the differences or
similarities between the ideal and the real self.
The Personal Balance Sheet
You can develop a SWOT Analysis by working on
Weaknesses or Areas to Develop
Goleman - The Third Discovery
A Learning Agenda – How can I build on my strengths
while reducing my gaps?
Goal Setting
Build on strengths
Be a person’s own
Have flexible plans
Have feasible plans, with manageable steps
Have plans that suit a person’s learning style
Know your Learning Style
Concrete Experience: having an experience that
allows them to see and feel what it is like
Reflection: thinking about their own and others’
Model Building: coming up with a theory that make
sense of what they observe
Trial-and-error learning: trying something out by
actively experimenting with a new approach
Goleman - The Fourth Discovery
The Power of Mental Rehearsal: Reconfiguring the Brain
Experimenting with and practicing new behaviours,
thoughts, and feelings to the point of mastery.
Four Simple Steps to improve self control and empathy
 Step back – listen, don’t jump in.
 Let the other person speak
 Get some objectivity – ask yourself if there is a reason for your reaction or
you are jumping into conclusions?
 Ask clarifying questions rather than appear judgmental or hostile
To master a new skill it needs repetition and practice
“Stealth learning”
Goleman - The Fifth Discovery
The Power of Relationships – Developing supportive and
trusting relationships that make change possible
Positive groups help people make positive changes
Good coaches will understand the leader’s dilemma from
multiple perspectives and will tailor a leader’s development
program in an one-on-one relationship:
 The individual level – what is going on for that person
 The team level – the group dynamics of the executive or staff teams
 The organizational level – how all of this fits with culture, systems, and
The SMART Goals Principle
S. Specific -
M. Measurable
A. Acceptable
R. Realizable
T. Timed
Problem Solving - The 3Abcs
Three strategies to use when dealing with a problem
A - Alter the situation
A – Avoid the situation
A – Adapt to the situation by
b – building resilience
c – changing our attitude
Different situations will determine the appropriate
 implies removing the
source of stress by
changing something e.g.
- assertiveness
- organization
- planning
- time management
- delegation
 Implies removing oneself from
the stressful
situation or figuring out how nor to get there
in the first place.
- walk away
- let go
- say ‘no’
- delegate
- know your limits
 Involves
equipping oneself physically
and mentally for stress by:
 building
resistance and/or
 changing
our attitudes.
Building Resistance includes:
 proper
 regular
 relaxation
 taking
and/or meditation
time for oneself
 maintaining
social supports
 having clear
goals and priorities
Changing Our Attitude includes:
 looking
 seeing
 “the
at underlying self-talk
things through different eyes
most important conversations you
will ever have are those you have with
“The Resonant Leader”
The main tasks of a leader are to generate excitement, optimism,
and passion as well as an atmosphere of cooperation and trust.
EI Leadership is built from a foundation of self-awareness
Self-awareness facilitates both empathy and self-management
and these two in combination allow effective relationship
Goleman 2002
The Resonant Leader
Emotional Intelligence can enable leaders to
accomplish those fundamental tasks by developing
Social awareness
Relationship management
Driving Resonance
Be attuned to how others feel in the moment
Say and do what is appropriate by
 calming fears
 assuaging anger
 joining in good spirits
Sense the shared values and priorities that can
guide a group.
Becoming an Emotionally Intelligent Leader:
Develop your own Emotionally Intelligent
Leadership style by integrating the SUEIT, the
Caruso and the Goleman models.
Use the Self-directed learning approach and apply
the Goleman’s Five Discoveries to achieve change
For more reading you can visit
Group Exercise:
Everyone in the team is depressed as you are
discussing all the problems on the project that will
delay the product launch by two months. The
president who said that this is unacceptable, walks
into the meeting room. You as the team leader…
Building an Emotionally Intelligent Organization
Discovering the Emotional Reality
 Respect the groups values and the organization’s integrity
 Slow down in order to speed up
 Start at the top with a bottom-up strategy
Visualizing the Ideal
 Look inside
 Don’t align - Attune
 People first, then strategy
Sustaining Emotional Intelligence
 Turn vision into action
 Create systems that sustain emotionally intelligent practices
 Manage the myths of Leadership
Four Levels of Organizational Culture
 no sense of community and/or cohesion
 no core set of values or ideals
 decisions are not tied to any precedents
 often members not taking responsibility for their actions
Transactional (Corrective)
 heavy concentration on eliminating mistakes
 emphasis on what people do wrong
 little collegial support
 high risk avoidance
 keeping new ideas to oneself
Four Levels of Organizational Culture
Transactional (Constructive)
 things get done through negotiations and contracts
 rewards provided to employees
 executives provide each other with support and recognition
 transactions can be of longer duration
 if consistent honouring of agreements, a basis of trust is built
 core values are easily identified by members
 collective focus on building learning potential and performance
 members working toward a central mission and/or purpose
 symbols and images signify the important values
 members trust each other to do what is right and moral
 people are comfortable questioning each other
Creating Sustainable Change - Goleman
Within an organization, best Leadership programs
are designed for culture, competencies and spirit.
They need to follow the principles of self directed
change and use a multifaceted approach to the
learning and development process by focussing on
the individual, the team and the organization.
Creating Sustainable Change (con’es)
Processes need to include the following:
A tie-in to the culture and sometimes to culture change in an
Seminars built around the philosophy and practice of
individual change
Relevant learning about EI competencies – not just business
Creative and potent learning experiences with a purpose
Relationships that support learning, such as learning teams
and executive coaching
Work with your co-coach and develop further your
EI Leadership Style
Create a feedback mechanism – how will you know
that you are behaving with greater/better EI?
You can prepare a presentation about your
progress in the Ideal Self - Master Plan
What are some of the changes you have achieved
 Within yourself?
 In your practices as a leader?
What are your plans for the Ideal Self – Master Plan
in the next twelve months?
What I have learned so far:

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