In 4-H Youth Development
Bullying
NDSU Extension Service
Center for 4-H Youth Development
1
What is CHARACTER COUNTS!?
CHARACTER
COUNTS! is more
than character
development
curricula
2
The Six Pillars of Character
 TRUSTWORTHINESS – honesty, integrity,
promise-keeping, loyalty
 RESPECT – courtesy, nonviolence, tolerance,
autonomy
 RESPONSIBILITY – duty, accountability,
pursuit of excellence, self-restraint
 FAIRNESS – openness, consistency,
impartiality
 CARING – kindness, compassion, empathy
 CITIZENSHIP – civic virtue, lawfulness,
common good
3
Caring
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Concern for others’ well-being
Compassion
Empathy
Kindness and consideration
Charity
Sacrifice
Gratitude
Mercy and forgiveness
4
Caring
Always be kind.
If you can’t say
anything nice,
don’t say
anything at all –
hurtful words
have a lasting
impact.
CARING
Positive values to instill
I will be a better person and live a more worthy life if
I act on the following beliefs:
I have to show concern for others’ well-being.
I should act compassionately and with empathy.
I need to be kind and considerate.
I should practice charity, make sacrifices, and
show gratitude.
I have to be willing to show mercy and forgiveness.
A Caring
Person Is:
A Caring
Person Is Not:
Compassionate and
empathetic
Mean, cruel, or
insensitive
Kind, loving, and
considerate
Thankful and
expresses gratitude
Forgiving of others
Selfish or
self-centered
Too busy to lend a
helping hand
Creating a Culture of Kindness
• In a Culture of
Kindness, differences
are accepted and
celebrated.
• In a Culture of
Kindness, it’s all for
one and one for all;
people stand up for
and next to each other.
Pepper Experiment
• Step 1: Sprinkle the pepper in the water.
• Step 2: Hold the soap in the middle of the
pepper for 3 seconds. Do not drop it in.
• Step 3: Pour the sugar in the center of the water.
NDSU Extension 4-H Youth
Development’s Definition of Bullying
Bullying behavior is defined as unwanted
deliberate negative action by another
individual or group of individuals with
intent to harm. Bullying may inflict harm or
distress, including physical, social, sexual,
psychological, or educational harm.
Bullying often includes an imbalance of
power between individuals/groups.
10
©2012 Josephson Institute.
The Triple D’s of Bullying
DANGEROUS
• Someone might
get hurt
DESTRUCTIVE
• Something might get
broken, damaged, or
destroyed
• Someone repeatedly
teases or bullies
other people
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DISCRIMINATORY
• Someone’s core
identity is ridiculed
When 4-H’ers
understand that they
are responsible for
their fellow 4-H
members’ well-being,
they are less likely to
exhibit these
behaviors and more
likely to intervene if
they see them.
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Is It Teasing or Bullying?
13
Good-Natured Teasing
• Playful between
BOTH people
• Uses a friendly tone
• Encourages
friendships
• Doesn’t lead to
physical
confrontations
• Sometimes lightens a
tense moment
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Hurtful Teasing
• Uses angry tone
• Includes hostile body
language
• Continues even when
distress is evident
• Continues even when
the topic is upsetting
to others
• Is accompanied by
taunting or showing off
15
Cyberbullying can include any
of the following:
•
•
•
•
•
•
Pretending to be someone else online
Sending threatening or mean messages
Posting/forwarding embarrassing images
Using information found online to harass
Setting up popularity polls
Creating an account as someone else
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Do
• Intervene if you see/become aware of bullying
behaviors
• Regularly discuss how to demonstrate caring
and respect
• Establish clear guidelines for 4-H club and
activity conduct
• Have a plan for handling incidents
• Take all incidents seriously
• Communicate with 4-H’ers and
parents/caregivers about processes if these
incidents occur
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Don’t …
• Wait until there is a serious problem to start
building a culture of kindness
• Blame the victim — no one deserves to be
bullied
• Confront 4-H’ers about these issues in front of
other 4-H’ers
• Get hung up on the details of finger-pointing —
the bullying behavior must stop.
18
Research shows
If one bystander says,
“Stop it,” 50 percent of
the time the bullying
ends in 10 seconds or
less.
If two or more people
speak up, the bullying
usually stops in 10
seconds or less.
“Bullying is a Relationship Problem” -Dr. Wendy Craig, Queens University
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Show them how
Adults are the role
models here. If you
are not pro-active in
addressing
negative behaviors,
your 4-H’ers will not
be either.
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Ways to prepare 4-H’ers to act
• Role play
• Brainstorm strategies
• Determine which adults they are most
comfortable talking to
• Think of non-confrontational ways to
intervene
• Recognize the strengths youth bring to the
situation
.
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Can 4-H’ers answer these?
• What can you do to help?
• Whom should you ask for help?
• What could you do if this happens again?
• What should you do
after you have seen
something?
22
Help 4-H’ers Keep Perspective
• Remind youth that there are many
people in their lives who care about
them.
• Use exercises and discussions to
build social problem-solving skills
• Encourage 4-H’ers to consider whose
opinions really matter
23
Ways of Working with 4-H Youth
• Weave caring and respect through 4-H activities
and curriculum
• Have a “4-H Participation Expectations” meeting
with 4-Hers, volunteers and caregivers
• Encourage service learning
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