THIS POWERPOINT IS INTENDED FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF THE CHILD STUDY CENTER TEACHER TRAINING PROGRAM. ANY OTHER USE IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED. 10+C’s to working with children of any age • • • • • • • • • • Clear Calm Concise Consistent Caring Choices Consequences Communication Changes Confidentiality Clear Natural Language • Did you say what you MEANT to say or did you say what you THOUGHT you meant to say? • Can you get me a cup of coffee? • Can you pick up your room? • Can you get ready for supper? Clear Language • Is there a choice or isn’t there? • If there is, phrase it as such. • If there isn’t, don’t phrase it as if there is a choice for the child. Clear Language • ………..OK? • OK now refers to a choice. • Not researched, but 5% used to give a hard time. Now over 10% and inching to 15%. The question is…WHY? Clear Language • Use of fingers or other visual when choice required. • Shakespeare had it right. 3 times • 1st time to explain. 2nd time to explain and what will happen if the action occurs again. 3rd time, put into action. Clear Language How many grains of rice will fill this room? • • Frame of reference Use hands to explain time out Calm (stay) • If they get frustrated and you get frustrated, where does it end? • • • • No tv for a month. Grounded for a week. No going to Grandma & Grandpas' house. No going to the mall. Calm (stay) •Who are you hurting? WHAT HAVE YOU GAINED? Calm (stay) • • • • Make it reasonable. Make it appropriate. Make it carefully. Make punishment soon after issue arises. • Can they earn back their “freedom”? • What are we really trying to teach them? Calm (stay) • Trying to be “The Perfect parent”. Calm (stay) • Saying you’re sorry. • Parent vs. child. • Little Johnny and his sister. • Modeling Concise speeches • Glassy eyed • Remembering anything you say • Listen to yourself • Agreement when you are angry • Recency/latency effect Concise • What are you trying to impart? • Did they get it? • How do you know? • Ask them to repeat it. • Help them with the repetition • Get the main points taken care of. Consistent (all adults) • Dad too lenient, mom too strict…or vice versa • Weakest link. • Happy medium. • Don’t argue/discuss in front of the kids, even if they are watching tv. Consistent (all adults) • Grandma and grandpa have to follow along also. • Child care program has to follow along. • 2 bosses, who do you follow ex: Hot coffee and coming in late. Consistent • STRUCTURE Umbrella policy – Closed – Golf – Open Consistent (all adults) • • • • • • What do you hope to achieve? What is your main goal? To harm? To teach? To avoid repetition? To discipline? (not a 4 letter word). Caring • Do you? • Do they know you do? • How? • Little touches sometimes mean more than grandiose actions. Caring • Get down on their level. • Show with face and tone of voice. • No bribery. • Simple touch. ******* Caring • Staffing • Hugs and kisses policy • To other kids • To staff Caring Favoritism. Choices • Are there any to be made? • How do we know when kids are able to accurately/effectively make choices? • Do the children know what choices are? • Using logic at an early age Choices • What if they made the wrong choice? – Can they go back and change? – Are they stuck? – Do you like to be stuck? – Aren’t we supposed to be teaching them? – Is teaching just ABC and 1,2,3? – Does this lead to….. Consequences • There are consequences to everything. – – – – Being late to work. Not the right attitude Not handling things well Using a loud voice or incorrect terminology – Inappropriate clothing We’ve learned about consequences, but it took time. Consequences • Can’t start right off with consequences. • Need to establish routine • Need to establish age-appropriate expectations (do we know them?) • Need to clearly articulate these expectations Consequences • Need to be certain routine and expectations are understood. • Need to take age and child into account • Especially important to be Clear, everyone needs to be Consistent, and everyone needs to be Calm. Consequences • How can we show displeasure at child’s actions? • Is it appropriate to show displeasure at a child’s actions? • How do we separate displeasure at child’s actions and displeasure of the child? Consquences • Center policy? • Personal policy? • Training? • Parent conflict? Consequences • Do we need to tell parent EVERY LITTLE THING THEIR CHILD DID “WRONG” DURING THE DAY? • Do we tell them EVERY LITTLE THING THEIR CHILD DID RIGHT DURING THE DAY? • What do we tell parents about child’s day? • Get to know your parents. “greatest asset or greatest pain in the asset?” Communication • From director to staff. • From staff to director. • From director/staff to parents. • From parents to director/staff. Communication • From staff to children. • From children to staff. – Are children allowed to ask WHY you do certain things at school? – Are they allowed to question staff? – Children and rules. Communication • CAN YOU COME INTO MY OFFICE? Changes • Especially important for families. • Do YOU like your spouse/partner/significant other/parent lecturing you during the middle of an argument? • Do YOU like changes made to your day, routine, or lifestyle…without your input? Changes • Why is there a need for change? • Who decided the need? • How many changes are needed? • Should they all be attempted at the same time? Changes • When to initiate conversation about changes? • Are the adults all on the same page? – Weakest link again. – Will you be able to follow through or just give up? CHANGES • As a group, decide what changes are necessary. • List them according to importance or immediate necessity of change. • Inform family members (or staff) about changes and need for such. • Inform at a neutral time, not while in the throes of panic or turmoil. Changes • How to present to all necessary • When to start change program…next day, next week, next time it occurs? • Make sure all enforcers are on board…no weak links. Changes • Make sure ready to start and enforce the program. • Shakespeare and 3 times again. When situation occurs, have to put plan into play. If not, child and staff know they only have to “wait” you out. Changes • Follow those C’s: • • • • Consistent Calm Caring Choices Changes • Once you have this situation under control, then go on to next “Change” that is necessary. • Make certain to congratulate (an extra freebie C) the people involved, but make certain it is an appropriate congratulations. • Don’t be an “American Idol Parent”. CONFIDENTIALITY +C COMMON SENSE Only have it if you know what it is that is happening, what it is you are doing, what someone has taught you, what you have experienced, what you have read, etc. 1 person answer please: What are the 3 first things you need to do to build a house? Will you remember more WATCHING someone build a house, or working WITH someone build a house? Examples of not using common sense: Going on a field trip Party for the room Camouflage clothing • Not an end all for every issue or situation that occurs, but a good base from which to work from. • Works for all ages: preschool, elementary, middle, high school, college….wife does it with me. • Program rules • Photo cd • Funny little stories • • • • • Can you scream louder? How to say hello Doctor and bees My daddy… Sneakers and rest time • • • • • • • An idea… Is it alright if my son wears tights? Sam’s and yelling Brushing teeth and bedtime Wake up you….. Math problems and bananas Paleontologists • • • • • Years in the field MIT 1600 Giving gifts to other schools Scholastic book clubs Can you…. The worst they can do is say no. • Explain: Don’t go to Bangor tonight. • Sometimes easier to give in…What about long term? Milkshakes • Magic fairy dust---we don’t have any. • Music cd—parent purchase • Dependency upon 1 teacher • Favorite children (staff?) • I’m not perfect, so why should I expect my child to be? • • • • • • • • • Ground hogs day 5 minute warning Egg timer Stories fishing story Poker face Violence toys…what about Barbie? Can’t reach every child Scary things bed and walls Parent schedules mom a nurse HAVE TO STILL ENJOY WORK Now, time for you.