Building Bridges of Understanding
Through
Constructive Communication
By
Helma Rosenthal & Lynda Strohl
CONFLICT RESOLUTION
“The strong man is the man who can
stand up for his rights and not hit
back.”
Dr. Martin Luther King
CONFLICT RESOLUTION
Why Conflict Resolution?
No Child Left Behind
Creating a Safe School Climate
Conflict happens everywhere, in all
settings
Interesting Stats…

According to Robert Bolton, author of People Skills, “Eighty percent of the
people who fail at work do so for one reason: they do not relate well to other
people.

65% of voluntary terminations are the result of unresolved workplace conflict

42% of a manager’s time is spent addressing conflict in the workplace.
(Watson, C. & Hoffman, R., Managers as Negotiators, Leadership Quarterly,
3/17/96.)

Job stress is a key driver of health care costs. According to the Journal of
Occupational Environmental Medicine, health care expenditures are nearly 50%
greater for workers reporting high levels of stress. (Corbitt Clark, Mary,
[online], The Cost of Job Stress.

Chronic unresolved conflict acts as a decisive factor in at least 50% of
departures. Conflict account for up to 90% of involuntary departures, with the
possible exception o f staff reductions due to downsizing and restructuring.
(Dana, David, [online], The Dana Measure of Financial Cost of Organizational
Conflict, 2001.)
Conflict




Universal experience
Natural and Normal
Differing Points of View
Destructive or Constructive
Sources of Conflict





Resources
Goals/objectives
Miscommunication
Attitudes/values
Personality
Conflict Outcomes
Positive






Involvement
Cohesion
Creativity
Growth
Clarification of issues
Clarification of values
Negative





Unresolved
anger/concerns
Reduced morale
Personality clashes
Low self-esteem
Unfinished business
Stephen Covey Habit 4: Think Win-Win






Win-Win
Lose-Lose
Win-Lose
Lose-Win
Win
No Deal
CONFLICT RESOLUTION
Conflict Management Styles Survey
How do you respond to conflict?
What’s your conflict style?
CONFLICT RESOLUTION
Conflict Resolution Styles

Avoiding

Competing

Accommodating

Compromising

Collaborating
Avoiding
Pros
Cons
Petty or unimportant

Problem remains

Cool down

Lose respect

Little leverage

Unaware of problems and
perceptions

Disruption > issue

Anxiety = ineffective

Gather info

Own needs not met

Wrong person

Stay behind the scenes

Competing
Pros
Cons

Important and right

Unyielding

Good natured

Ignore others

Cut ties

Alienate others
Dealing with competitive
people

Blinders on

Overconfident

Pressure!



Audience perception
Love competition
Accommodating
Pros
Cons

Good will > Issues

Taken advantage of

Concern for others

Own needs not met

Back pocket


Less leverage

Not your responsibility

Happy co-workers

Volatile parties

Happy but not productive
enough
Decide too soon
Compromising
Pros
Cons

Last option

Lose sight of big picture

Outcome most important

Precedents

Small steps

Misses the point

Time is of the essence

Shared ideas
Collaborating
Pros

Long term cooperation

Strong emotion



Cons

Resources

Lengthy process

“How” rather than “what”

Agreement is hard
Options
Interpersonal relationships
High impact

Time and attention

No easy answers
Conflict is normal! Conflict
should be an expected part of
the work culture!
Consider your own work environment and ask
yourself the following questions!
 1) What causes the conflicts?
 2) When do the conflicts occur? Are there any
patterns?
 3) How do all respond when conflict occurs?
 4) Are solutions long term or quick fixes?
 5) Are procedures in place for addressing dayto-day issues?
WHY WE AVOID CONFLICT ?!






Fear of others’ reactions
Maybe it will go away on its own?
Why should I make the first move?
Don’t want to be seen as a problem
Societal norms and expectations
FEAR OF THE PROCESS and OUTCOMES
What not to do…



) Do not avoid the conflict, hoping it
will go away.
2) Do not meet separately with
people in conflict.
3) Do not believe the only people
who are affected are the participants.
Cross-Culture Conflict
You may notice:
 Denial or downplaying
 Inaction
 Misdirection of blame
 Face-saving tactics
 Long resolution time
 Sensitivity to
feedback
Communication

Verbal


Words
Nonverbal

Wordless Messages







Haptic
Body Language
Posture
Facial Expression
Eye contact
Paralanguage
Listening
Communication

Good Communicators send non-verbal and
verbal messages that exactly match their
thoughts and feelings
I love
you!
Communication Skills and
Techniques
Perspective Taking
Active Listening
I Messages
CONFLICT RESOLUTION
PERSPECTIVE TAKING
Is the ability to understand how a situation
appears to another person and how that
person is reacting cognitively and
emotionally to the situation.
Shift your point of view
Emotions
Anger
Frustration
Disappointment
Fear
Anxiety
Stress
*Recognition
*Management
CONFLICT RESOLUTION
ACTIVE LISTENING
Is a way of responding to the speaker which
implies that the listener is trying to
understand what the speaker is saying,
feeling, and doing.
Active Listening




Eye contact
Pay attention
Nod
Facial expressions




Ask questions
Encourage the
other person to tell
more
PARAPHRASE
Make comment
Listening with Empathy
What to Do

Encourage

Clarify

Restate

Reflect Feelings

Validate
CONFLICT RESOLUTION
Roadblocks to Communication
Ordering, Directing, Commanding
Warning, Threatening, Preaching, Moralizing
Advising
Judging, Criticizing, Blaming, Name Calling,
Ridiculing, Shaming, Interpreting, Psychoanalyzing
Teaching, Instructing
Final thoughts and overview






Resolve the conflict
Be clear about the causes
Validate differences in perception and
point of view
Decide on a process and get agreement
Listen actively
Document! Document! Document!
Descargar

Slide 1