The Lesson of the Circle
Building Alliances Through
Relationship - What Goes Around
Comes Around...
The Lesson of the Willow
• Consider this lesson, from “Verbal Judo” by
Dr. George Thompson.
• In judo, as in life – Flexibility Yields Strength, and
– Rigidity Yields Weakness
• This ancient law of nature is also a basic
law of relationship.
Relationship Examples?
• Being out of control makes one weak and
vulnerable to someone who is calm.
• Tension makes us egotistical and selfcentered. It causes us to react in rigid,
inflexible ways.
• By learning to put some distance between
you and your feelings, we become more
open and responsive.
What is the Secret of Life?
• If there really is a secret, it might be
working to enhance the quality of of our
relationships, because • People are about relationships, one to
Putting a Value on Valuing
• Creates open, trusting and adaptive
• Develops teamwork, participation and
• Honors and benefits from diversity.
• Facilitates organizational renewal.
• Helps to build community and job
The Language of Persuasion
• Definition:
– To reconstruct or alter the way someone sees
– To change one’s view of reality.
The Language of Persuasion
• Mediation is a key ingredient in helping one
to see differently.
• Mediation demands the use of concrete
language to make order out of disorder.
The Goals of Persuasion
• We often need to convince others to do
things they don’t want to do.
The Goals of Persuasion, con’t.
• Direct attempts to alter behavior usually
meet resistance.
The Goals of Persuasion, con’t.
• Learn what is in the other’s best interest,
and persuade from that perspective, rather
than your own.
The Goals of Persuasion, con’t.
• Never substitute personal values for
professional or ethical ones.
The Lesson of the Circle
Teaches Us...
More than one way
There is no Life Without
Relating • Relationship is the process of continual
flow and change.
• Remember the power of synergy:
– The combined action of two or more substances
or agencies to achieve an effect greater than
that of which each is individually capable...
Reference Material
J. Mark Warren
Texas Association of Counties
Sgt. Sam Culpepper
Texas Department of Public
SafetyTraining Academy

The Lesson of the Circle - University of Texas at Austin