Macquarie University: Dr. Matt Bower, Amanda Stavert
Makebook Pty. Ltd.: Mark Stanley, Lidija Loridon
During 2010, collaboration occurred between Epping Boys High School Centre for
Excellence, Makebook Pty Ltd and Macquarie University to modify the Makebook
program for use in secondary classrooms. The modifications took into account
interventions which had been previously found to be effective in improving the quality
of students’ written compositions. For example:
 Strategy instruction which requires that teachers systematically and explicitly
teach students strategies for planning, revising and/or editing their texts.
 Peer assistance which occurs when students work together to plan, draft and/or
revise their compositions
 Setting specific product goals for the text they are to write (for instance, “ add 5
items of information during the revision process’.
 Using work processing computer programs
 Pre-writing activities requiring students to generate and organise ideas for their
writing, for instance brainstorming activities
 Provision of good models of the relevant type of text (as well as opportunities for
the students to analyse the text and be encouraged to imitate its features)
 A process writing approach, including writing for real audiences, planning,
translating and reviewing, individual assistance and instruction.
Macquarie University and the Makebook team collaborated with the
Epping Boys High School Centre for Excellence to develop the Makebook
writing project to extend the writing capabilities of students. The project
ran in Terms 1 and 2 of 2011 and involved staff from all three “cluster”
schools in creating and teaching units of work in which students
collaboratively composed texts using the Makebook program.
The thirteen teachers who took part in the program taught across a range
of subjects, including Drama, English, Geography, History, Japanese,
Mathematics, Music, Personal Development Health & Physical Education
and Science.

A secure and easy to use online writing system that allows students to
create text individually or collaboratively

Teachers are able to include a specific rubric (assessment criteria) for each
task so that students understand exactly what they are required to achieve
as well as models and scaffolds of the relevant text

It enables student-initiated collaboration, mentoring and marking. A student
can invite a peer (or teacher) to collaborate on a text, or provide detailed
comments as a mentor, or mark the text.

Teachers can share rubrics and tasks that they have created with other
teachers.
Recent research has shown that the quality of students’ written compositions
improves when they:
 Use a computer to compose text
 Work collaboratively to compose text
 Plan their written composition using models and scaffolds
 Are provided with feedback followed by opportunities to revise and edit their
writing
The Makebook program provides these interventions to enable students to
improve their writing.
Example Design 1: Theatre Task for Drama
This task involved two Makebook documents. The first included several pages of
task instructions and information on performance styles and dramatic forms for
students to read, covering:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
Greek Theatre
Roman Theatre
Medieval Theatre
Restoration Comedy
Melodrama
Realism and naturalism
Expressionism Symbolism – Non Realism
Epic Theatre
Students were then required to answer a series of Comprehension Questions,
using full sentences.
Example Design 1: Theatre Task for Drama, cont’d
Students were then required to answer a series of Comprehension Questions, using full
sentences:
1. How important was religion to the beginning of Greek Theatre? Explain.
2. Who was Dionysius?
3. Describe the celebrations that tool place in the city of Dionysus every year?
4. Draw/up load different pictures of the Theatre of Dionysus.
5. How did the Greek actors and playwrights show the audience where the action or
location was without creating sets?
6. Name four Greek writers?
7. Name a Greek tragedy play like?
8. List the problems you would encounter performing outdoors, inn front of 15 000 to 100
000 spectators?
9. How did the Greeks overcome the challenges?
10. Explain the role of the chorus and why they were important.
Example Design 1: Theatre Task for Drama, cont’d
Once Comprehension Questions were completed students moved onto the Performance
Activities.
The Performance Activities Workbook provided a space which students could respond to a
series of questions based on the information that they had read. The teacher had
intentionally used pictures in the first document to engage students, but had left the
workbook relatively plain sp that students would not be distracted from the task. The
approach enabled the information to be immediately disseminated to all students and for
them the complete the task in one centralised online space. This way the teacher could
easily track student performance and provide them with feedback.
Example Design 2: Writing an Environmental Case Study
This design used Makebook to provide Year 11 students with principles for how to
write an environmental case study. This included embedded files in the Makebook
document that linked to real life examples of environmental case studies, on
which students could base their own case study. The teacher’s approach
deconstructed the case study genre for them in an authentic, situated and
meaningful context. Students could then complete their case-study of the local
environmental area using the online system.
Example Design 2: Writing an Environmental Case Study, cont’d
The Lower Hawkesbury River Estuary is a drowned river valley, which was
incised into Hawkesbury sandstone bedrock during the historical ice ages, when
ocean levels were much lower than present. There are a number of major
tributaries to the Lower Hawkesbury Estuary, including Berowra, Mangrove,
Mooney Mooney, Mullet, and Cowan Creeks. With its tall, highly weathered
vertical sandstone cliffs and gorges, open waterways, secluded bays and
expanse of natural vegetation, the Lower Hawkesbury Estuary is one
of the most visually spectacular waterways in New South Wales. The Lower
Hawkesbury catchment is unique in that is the foreshore areas contain
significant forested areas and with relatively little foreshore development. The
majority of the foreshore and adjacent land is national park. Those foreshores
that are relatively flat are mostly occupied by private development or
natural mangrove barriers. The large extents of national park and the steep
topography which has limited access and development on the foreshore have
preserved the natural character and beauty of the estuary. The Lower
Hawkesbury supports the 2nd largest estuary fishery and the 2nd largest oyster
farming industry in NSW although in recent years an outbreak of QX disease
has greatly affected local oyster production .
Example Design 2: Writing an Environmental Case Study, cont’d
The Task
Prepare a case study of the Lower Hawkesbury-Nepean catchment explaining
how riparian ecosystems in the area have been affected by water quality and
changes to flows over recent years. You should refer to the mangrove and
associated ecosystems which you observed on your field trip to Gibberagong
and the effect on aquaculture in the river such as the oyster industry. Include
maps and photographs to substantiate any claims and present scientific
evidence such as that collected on your field trip. Read the guide to
writing a case study. One of the important articles you will need to read is the
Lower Hawkesbury Estuary Management Plan. A link is provided
Lower_Hawkesbury_Estuary_Management_Plan.pdf
riparian: of or relating to or located on the banks of a river or stream
Example Design 2: Writing an Environmental Case Study, cont’d
How to Write a Case Study:
Writing an interesting environmental case study is a bit like writing a detective
story. You want to keep your readers interested in the situation.
CS2_Shoalhaven_Land_Water.pdf
There are three basic steps in case writing: research, analysis, and the actual
writing. You start with research, but even when you reach the writing stage you
may find you need to go back and research even more information.
The Research Phase:
Find out what has been written before, and read the important articles about
your case site. For example, your case study might be on a National Park
where there have been so many visitors that the park's eco-system is in danger.
Then the case problem would be to figure out how to solve this so the park is
protected, but tourists can still come. The link below takes you to your Fieldwork
Journal
Gibberong.pdf
Example Design 2: Writing an Environmental Case Study, cont’d
Writing the Case Study:
Describe the problem or case question you want the reader to solve.
In a detective story, the crime happens right at the beginning and the detective has to put
together the information to solve it for the rest of the story. In a case, you can start by
raising a question. What your introduction does is give clues to the reader about what
they should be thinking about. Organize the sections of the case.
You will probably need to organize your information under topics like the following:
a. Introduction to the problem
b. Background on the place -- where is it, how big, what climate, etc. – this part should be
a brief, overall description. Think about having 2 pages of written material, photos, or even
a video, so that your readers can really get a feel for what the place looks like. Summarize
the main features of the place. What makes it special?
c. An analysis of the pressures causing the problems in the catchment.
d. Government Policy -- include information about what government policy is with respect
to this place. What is allowed, what is not allowed. Can policy be changed, and by whom?
Conclusion.
Your case will need a conclusion. Rather than putting in your answer in the case, leave
the reader with some more questions. By ending your case like this, you let your readers
discuss the situation themselves. If you have written a good case, they will have enough
information to understand the situation and be in a position to debate the issues.
Example Design 3: Redesigning an Advertisement
The design of this unit initially used Makebook to provide Year 9 students with
introductory information on advertising and persuasive writing techniques.
Students were required to complete activities to ensure their comprehension as
they read through information, for example, highlighting adjectives in various
sentences followed by adding adjectives to sentences. For example,
1.
2.
3.
The luxurious seats make cinema viewing a pleasure.
This exclusive, gold locket would be a wonderful Mother’s Day present.
This giant, polished oak table would suit any dining room.
1. Our new car has a ____________ and ________________ exterior, and a booming sound system
to make a _____________________ drive.
2. It’s an enjoyable holiday experience. We offer ____________ service, ________________ views,
________________ accommodation and an _________________menu.
Colour is used to promote aesthetic appeal. The students main task was to
redesign a bland car advertisement (see next page) to make it more appealing.
When students were designing their advertisement, the teacher used the side
panel on the Makebook screen to provide students with persuasive writing
strategies as well as technical instructions on how to insert images. Thus this
design scaffolded students from skills-based comprehension tasks to more
creative design based thinking.
Example Design 3: Redesigning an Advertisement, cont’d
Car Advertisement
The advertisement below needs help. It is too plain and
unappealing for its target audience.
First, decide who the target audience would be.
Then, rewrite the ad using persuasive language to make it
more appealing.
Once you have finished your ad you need to share your
work with your partner who will edit and improve on your
ad.
This new car from a world's leading car
Manufacturer is a car with four doors and
wheels. It comes in seven different colours.
It is better than our competitor's car. The
car has good brakes and can stop quickly
if it needs to. There is room for seven
people and a dog. It also has a CD player.
Re-write the ad on the next page
Remember to appeal to your
target audience by using
persuasive techniques:
Adjectives
Personal Pronouns
Connectives to link
paragraphs
Rhetorical questions
Humour
Triples
Alliteration
Facts & Figures
Emotive language
Exaggeration
Repetition
How to add an image:
Close this help screen and
underneath it these will be a
tab that says ‘My images”.
Open it and then at the
bottom click ‘Upload’. Follow
the drop down menus to get
an image from your pictures
folder . Click ion the picture
you want, once you come
back to the Makebook page,
click on ‘go’ on the prompt,
wait a few seconds and our
image will be uploaded. Now
just drag it where ever you
want it to go on your ad.
Example Design 4: Writing a Biography of a Scientist
This design first used Makebook to provide Year 8 and 9 students with task instructions
about writing a science biography.
Students were provided with a list of scientists whose biography they could write. This
enabled them to complete the writing task and review each others work without the
potential for plagiarism’. The design of the task enabled students to compare and contrast
each others’ work so that they could learn from each others strengths and help to correct
each others’ mistakes. Being able to compare and contrast works of the same genre but
different topics supported abstraction of writing concepts, such as the structure of such
compositions.
Your task
Your task is to write a biography about a scientist who discovered something about the
nature of electricity (Year 8) or disease (Yr 9) from the following lists (scientists will be
allocated randomly):
Year 8
Benjamin Franklin, Andre-Marie Ampere, Alessandro Volta, Thomas Edison, Michael Faraday, James Clark Maxwell, Georg Ohm, Hans Christian
Oersted, Luigi Galvani, Guglielmo Marconi, JJ Thomson, James Joule, Edward Norton, Alexander Graham Bell, Lee de Forest, Rita Levi-Montalcini,
Francis Hauksbee, William Shockley, Lewis Latimer, William Gilbert, Elizabeth Kenny, John Bardeen, Leon Cooper, K Alex Mueller, Otto von
Guericke, Heinrich Hertz, Joseph Henry, CF Du Fay, Stephen Gray, Robert Millikan.
Year 9
Howard Florey, Alexander Fleming, Florence Nightingale, John Snow, Gertrude B. Elien, Robert Koch, Frank McFarlane-Burnet, Gerty Theresa Cori,
Frederick Hopkins, Felix Hoffman, Louis Pasteur , Joseph Lister, Erika Cretney, William Morton, James Blundell, Fiona Wood, Edward Jenner,
William Harvey, Galen, Rhazes, Hippocrates, Anita B. Roberts, Santiago Ramón y Cajal, Paul Broca, Andreas Vesalius, Harvey Cushing, Claude
Bernard, Nikolai Korotkov
Example Design 4: Writing a Biography of a Scientist, cont’d
Your group will be given a number of biographies to do based on the number in the group.
Research these people as a group to find out information such as their educational
background, when and where they did their research, what specific scientific contribution
they made and any other interesting trivia about them.
Choose which one you will prepare. When your draft is done, share it with the rest of your
group and edit each one as a group.
Each group will then submit a biography of each of your scientists.
Make sure you include :
•Date and place of birth and death
•Family information
•Lifetime accomplishments
•Major events of life and very importantly
•Effects/impact on society, historical significance
While this information is necessary to your project, dry facts on their own, don't really
make a very good biography. Once you've found these basics, you'll want to dig a little
deeper. Don't burden your biography simply with an inventory of boring facts. Your goal is
to impress and interest the reader!
Example Design 4: Writing a Biography of a Scientist
The teacher also provided the students with an example biography so that they had a clear
indication of what was expected of them.
A biography is given below as an exemplar.
Nikola Tesla
The Nikola Tesla is likely to summon up the image of a nutter rather than an influential scientist. He was possibly the greatest inventor the
world has ever known and without doubt a genius. You will discover the he is credited with many devices we use today. Telsa was born at
precisely midnight between July 9th and 10th, 1856, in a small Hungarian village. His father was a priest , and his mother, an unschooled but
extremely intelligent woman.
Training for an engineering career, he attended the Technical university of Graz, Austria. And was shortly employed in a government telegraph
engineering office is Budapest, where he made his first invention, a telephone repeater. Tesla sailed to America in 1884, arriving in New York
City with four cents in his pocket and a few great ideas.
He first found employment with a young Thomas Edison in New Jersey, but the two inventors didn’t really agree on anything. Because of their
differences, Telsa left Edison an din May 1885, George Westinghouse, head of Westinghouse Electric company in Pittsburgh, bought patent
rights to many of Telsa’s inventions. After a difficult period, during which Tesla invented but lost his rights to many inventions, he established
his own laboratory in New York in 1887, where he was free to do what he wanted. In 1895, Tesla discovered X-rays after hours and hours of
experiments. His experiments included work on different power sources and various types of lightning.
The Tesla coil, which he invented in 1891, was widely used in radio and television sets and other electronic equipment for wireless
communication. That year also marked the date of Tesla's United States citizenship. Brilliant and eccentric, Tesla was then at the peak of his
inventive powers. He managed to produce new forms of generators, transformers, he invented the fluorescent light, and he became
extremely involved with the wireless transmission of power. During the 1880a and 1890's Tesla and Edison became
rivals, fighting to develop there inventions as quickly as possible. In 1915 he was disappointed when a report that he
and Edison were to share the Nobel Prize proved to be a rumour. Edison went back on a promise to pay him money
for a particular inventions and Tesla broke off relations at once. The biggest race against Edison was Tesla's d
evelopment of alternating current which conflicted with Edison's use of direct current. This great power struggle
between Tesla and Edison's use of electricity practically ended when Tesla's alternating current won out and was
most favoured and ruled most practical. Tesla's alternating current was used to light the Chicago's World Fair. His
success was a factor in winning him the contract to install the first power machinery at Niagara Falls, which bore Tesla's name and patent
numbers. The project carried power to Buffalo by 1896.
Example Design 4: Writing a Biography of a Scientist, cont’d
Nikola Tesla, cont’d
In 1898 Tesla announced his invention of a remote control boat. Many people have called Tesla "a man out of
his time" because his astonishing experiments. In Colorado Springs, where he stayed from May 1899 until early
1900, Tesla made what he regarded as his most important discovery, terrestrial stationary waves. By this
discovery he proved that the earth could be used as a conductor and would be as responsive as a tuning fork to
electrical vibrations of a certain pitch. He also lighted 200 lamps without wires from a distance of 40 km and
created man-made lightning, producing flashes measuring 45m. He was fond of creating neighbourhood
threatening electrical storms in his apartment laboratory and once nearly knocked down a tall building by
attaching a mysterious "black box" to its side. He claimed he
could have destroyed the entire planet with a similar device. Criticism greeted his speculations concerning
communication with other planets, his assertions that he could split the earth like an apple, and his claim to
having invented a death ray capable of destroying 10,000 airplanes, 400 km away. Because of a lack of funds,
his ideas remained in his notebooks, which are still examined by engineers for unexplored clues. Many of these
were eventually inherited by Tesla's nephew, and later housed in the Nikola Tesla Museum in Belgrade,
Yugoslavia. However, a major portion of his notes were impounded by the US Government, and very few of
those have surfaced today. Because he kept so few notes, to this day we can only guess at the details of many
of the fantastic scientific projects that he occupied. Many questions have raised concerning his confiscated
notes, although, the government regards some as never existed and declared others as "lost". Was he working
on particle weapons and cloaking devices for the United States Government when he died? Was Reagan's
Strategic Defense program known as "starwars" the result of secret research based on Tesla's discoveries half
a century before? Nikola Tesla allowed himself only a few close friends. Among them were the writers Robert
Underwood Johnson, Mark Twain, and Francis Marion Crawford. In his later years, Tesla was alone with only
his inventions and calculations, although he did bred pigeons later in life, who he gave all the affection to that
he was unable to give human beings.
Telsa's name holds over 700 patents. He died privately and peacefully at 87 on January 7, 1943 New York
hotel room from no apparent cause in particular. Hundreds filed into New York City's Cathedral of St.John for
his funeral services, and a flood of messages acknowledged the loss of a great genius. Three Nobel Prize
winners in physics (Millikan, Compton, and W.H. Barton) addressed their tributes.
Tesla is one of the outstanding intellects of the world who paved the way for many of the technological
developments of modern times,
Example Design 5: Writing a Profile of a Musician and Analysis of a Musical Work
In this design Makebook was initially used to present introductory information on Australian
music to Year 10 students. A range of sources, including sound and video files, were
presented to enrich students understanding of the material. The approach created
integrated multimedia exposure that could not have been integrated into one document
using standard word-processing software. Students were then provided with an example
profile of a musician. Colour and labelling has been used to explicitly deconstruct the
structure of the model for students. Following this students were provided with task
instructions which included them selecting a musician of choice and writing not only a
profile but also analysing one of their musical works. Once again this enabled students to
compare and contrast their peers work, learning from them and providing feedback. The
design also enabled them to practice two text types, a biography and an analysis, so that
they may explore (individually and in class) differences between two genres. The system
enabled them to embed audio and video files, enabling them to create a multimedia
biography and analysis. The results of students’ work could be combined to form an
integrated multimedia corpus of Australian musicians and their work.
Example Design 5: Writing a Profile of a Musician and Analysis of a Musical Work, cont’d
Australian Composers and Arrangers
There are many Australian composers and arrangers who write for different reasons, such as ceremonies,
films, documentaries, television, musicals, jazz, rock and so on. All these compositions give us our
"australian sound".
Two examples of "Australian Sounds":
1. Sydney Olympics 2000 - opening/closing ceremonies
Australians had a wonderful opportunity to show their music, including soloists, composers, ensembles to
the world. With the music and visuals, Australians were able to demonstrate a flavour of Australian
Sounds through this ceremonial extravaganza .
Below are some examples of music that revealed a collective Australian music flavour to the world
through the Opening and Closing Ceremonies.
2000 Olympic Band
James Morrison with Swing city
performing Fanfare
Human Nature, Julie Anthony and Choir –
Australian National Anthem (including Fanfare)
Bruce Rowland's Man from Snowy River
Tina Arena The Flame
Nikki Webster Under the Southern Skies
Example Design 5: Writing a Profile of a Musician and Analysis of a Musical Work, cont’d
Vanessa Amorosi - Heroes Live Forever
Christine Anu My Island Home
Johnny Farnham/Olivia Newton-John
- D are to Dream
Midnight Night Oil - Beds are Burning
Tap Dance - Eternity
Example Design 5: Writing a Profile of a Musician and Analysis of a Musical Work, cont’d
2. An Australian Composer
Nigel Westlake - PROFILE
Nigel Westlake, born 1958, studied the clarinet with his father, Donald Westlake (a
professional musician) and began his own professional musical career at age 17. He
performed with ballet companies, a circus troupe, chamber music groups, fusion bands and
orchestras around the world. He began writing compositions at an early age and later
received commissions to compose for TV and film. He also joined Australian classical
guitarist John Williams' group Attacca in 1992 as a performer and composer, choosing then
to give more time to composition.
He has written for feature films, documentaries, telemovies, news themes and station
"idents". His well known documentary scores Antarctica and Solarmax use a very wide
range of genres in scoring. In Antarctica Nigel is able to capture both playfulness (eg
percussion in Penguin Circus ) and desolate feelings (long low sounds in Last Place on
Earth). He can cleverly mix raw and ethereal sounds through his fusion of genres in the
Missa Solis from Solarmax using traditional percussive sounds with quasi religious sounds.
He has studied performance, composition, screen composition, orchestration and
conducting. He conducts orchestras for film scoring sessions. His conducting debut began
with the Queensland Symphony Orchestra in 1997.
Skills/strengths of musician
[right click to edit]
Example Design 5: Writing a Profile of a Musician and Analysis of a Musical Work, cont’d
2. An Australian Composer
Nigel Westlake – PROFILE cont’d
Westlake's work has been widely performed and he has earned numerous awards,
including awards for his film and concert music.
Some of his other works and film scores are:
1. Babe, a feature film won the Golden Globe Award, 1996 for 'best feature musical/
comedy'.
2. Miss Potter is a romantic score that has won him awards and world acclaim.
3. Omphalo Centric Lecture Opus 1,(1984) for percussion quartet has become one of the
most frequently performed and recorded works in the percussion repertoire by groups in
the USA, Japan, Europe and Australia, and,
4. Moving Air for percussion is well known by many Australian school students.
In 2004 Nigel Westlake was awarded the HC Coombs Creative Arts Fellowship at the
Australian National University and in 2008 he formed the Smugglers of Light Foundation
in memory of his son Eli. Westlake has written a 45 minute Requiem also in memory of his
son.
Nigel Westlake's career in music has spanned more than three decades and has given
workshops demonstrating how he approaches composing to music teachers and young
musicians.
Example Design 5: Writing a Profile of a Musician and Analysis of a Musical Work, cont’d
Samples of some of Westlakes film scores:
Last Place on Earth from
Antarctica (Documentary)
Miss Potter (Feature film)
If I had Words
from Babe
Children of the Revolution
Babe: Pig in the City
The Nugget
Step Father of the Bride
Missa Solis from Solarmax
Documentary
Example Design 5: Writing a Profile of a Musician and Analysis of a Musical Work, cont’d
Analysis of Missa Solis from Solarmax by Nigel Westlake
Solarmax is a 40-minute giant-screen documentary that tells the story of humankind's struggle to
understand the sun. The film takes audiences on an fasinating adventure from pre-history to the leading
edge of today's contemporary solar science.
Nigel Westlake wrote the music score for Solarmax which is in many movements including Missa Solis Hymn of the Sun. This short movement is thought-provoking as it uses 3 distinct genres capturing the
essence of and glorifying our existence under the sun.
The instrumentation - traditional sounding flutes, percussion (traditional and modern sound), choir and
orchestra - allowing diverse musical material to support the massive imagery of the sun and its
relationship with mankind.
The structure - 3 sections with a coda.
Section 1 - begins with a very soft, breathy almost delicate solo on a traditional flute with sustained
sounds rising in pitch and dividing into several layers
Section 2 - a complex percussive section. The texture of this section is homophonic with layers of tuned,
untuned percussion pulsating a forward rhythmic drive.
Section 3 - a slow moving four part chorale (choir) sounding rich tone colours with strings and brass
aurally demonstrating the might and power of the universe and the sun emphasised by a very wide pitch
range.
Coda - return to the initial delicate traditional flute sounds.
Westlake presents this work as a long powerful crescendo. He said "my intentions were to celebrate the
miracle and power of a star we rarely think about, yet is the essential engine of all life on earth. Our sun."
Example Design 5: Writing a Profile of a Musician and Analysis of a Musical Work, cont’d
Music Assignment
Stage 5 - Yr 10
Sounds Australian !
Choose one Australian musician from either of the two lists below.
N.B. all students are to make different choices. Discuss and make your choice with your classmates.
For your chosen musician you will:
1. Write a Profile :
- read and collect information on your chosen musician. Sort and order your information
for the profile while discovering their music world. Write the profile giving music facts,
music influences and the music world your musician has embraced, and
2. Analyse a work : give a brief analysis of a work composed by your musician.
a) select one work for analysis.
b) upload a clip of this work, and state the music style and the ensemble type,
c) through your analysis of this work (half a page) write about its features and impact.
N.B. Get your class mates to read your analysis
Example Design 5: Writing a Profile of a Musician and Analysis of a Musical Work, cont’d
Music Assignment, cont’d
LIST 1 - Art Music
Peter Sculthorpe
Sarah Hopkins
Matthew Hindson
Carl Vine
Elena Cats-Chernin
Percy Grainger
Analysis Guide
LIST 2 - Rock, Popular, Country, Folk, Traditional, Jazz
Johnny O'Keefe
AC/DC
Midnight Oil
James Morrison
Tommy Emmanuel
Men at Work
Yunupingu Geoffrey Gurrumul Yunupingu – Wiyathul
Silver Chair
Cold Chisel‘
Kate Cebrano
Jimmy Barnes
Yothu Yindi
Johnny Farnham
Iva Davies (ex EBHS)
Slim Dusty
John Williams (classical guitarist)
Richard Tognetti
Did you know......
Master and Commander - Music is by Iva Davies (ex EBHS), Christopher Gordon and Richard Tognetti
(Australian violinist)
Example Design 5: Writing a Profile of a Musician and Analysis of a Musical Work, cont’d
Music Assignment – Analysis Guide
Prepare to write a profile of a composer and make analytical comments on one
of your musician's works
1. Choose a musician from the given lists - discuss your choice with the class remember each student is to have a different musician.
2. In the Profile – introduce your composer/musician, when did he live and how did his music life develop,
etc.
3. Write about his own music skills - what are/were is music skills and what influenced him as a composer.
4. Define his achievements - what is it that makes him part of our Australian music scene.
5. Write a short conclusion.
6. You will gain a grade mark for your analysis on working collaboratively with your classmates to help
write your analysis. Choose a short work as they will have to take time to listen to it.
7. Remember to mention the instruments and how they are used for the purpose of your chosen work.
8. Use the concepts of music as a guide for your general analysis
Example Design 6: Perceptions of Alcohol and Tobacco Use in Australia
For this task an English teacher and a Personal Development, Health and Physical
Education (PDHPE) teacher collaborated to use Makebook for a cross disciplinary
assignment. The essay task related to perceptions of alcohol and tobacco use in Australia.
An annotated model was provided with colour used to help students understand how the
essay had been deliberately structured. A side pane was used to provide point of need to
scaffolding for how to write their essay.
Perceptions of alcohol and tobacco
The aim of this task is to examine the social perceptions of alcohol and tobacco over a
designated decade and compare them with your own perceptions.
You will be in groups of 3-4.
In your task:
- Include the effects of alcohol and tobacco on individuals living in your given decade,
- Use statistics and what they reveal
- Use examples of visual media related to your given decade.
- Create a glossary of key words related to your given decade.
To conclude, give your perception on tobacco and alcohol and discuss how and why it
differs to your given decade.
Example Design 6: Perceptions of Alcohol and Tobacco Use in Australia, cont’d
Introduction - give a brief outline on the decade you have been given.
- Discuss the use and abuse of tobacco and alcohol in Australia.
The 1920s is sometimes referred to as the Roaring Twenties or the Jazz Age, when speaking
about the United States, Canada or the United Kingdom. In Europe the decade is sometimes
referred to as the "Golden Twenties" because of the economic boom following World War I. The
1920's were a time of unbelievable prosperity. The stock market was skyrocketing and the
United States seemed to have the formula for limitless prosperity. Society changed dramatically.
Consumerism increased greatly as industries and technology flourished. Many households
bought consumer goods such as washing machines, radios, motor vehicle. This led to more
leisure time and the opportunity to indulge in new fads such as smoking and alcohol.
Alcohol Example
Paragraph 2 - Topic sentence - Alcohol had a profound influence on individuals during
the 1920's that led to changes in social behaviour in most countries.
- Discuss the effects of alcohol use of individuals living in your decade
- Discuss social influences of alcohol (advertising, movie stars etc)
The 1920's was also known as the era of Prohibition. With the passage of the 18 th
Amendment to the Constitution in 1919, the selling, creating, and moving of alcoholic
beverages was made illegal in the U.S. Intended to lessen the "evils" of alcohol, the
movement created new ones instead. For instance, organised crime escalated of the illegal
sale of alcohol, and notorious names such as Al Capone appeared. People began to look for
other ways of obtaining alcohol, despite the established law. Although it was a dangerous
practice, they began to make their own drinks with wood alcohol and medical supplies,
sometimes causing blindness, paralysis, or even death. Around this same time one writer
stated that excessive drinking was similar to "Grappling with the Monster" and called abusing
alcohol the "Curse." According to this writer, the only cure was total abstinence.
http://www.enotes.com/drugs-alcohol-encyclopedia/prohibition-alcohol . Alcohol was being
sold illegally in speakeasies (illegal drinking venues). However in other countries such as
Australia, alcohol was legal.
Introduce your decade
(talk about major incidents
that happened,
what was your decade
known for?)
Introduce tobacco and
alcohol
Paragraph 2 – Topic
sentence
– Find and insert statistic
on effects of alcohol
consumption (include
morbidity and mortality
rates as a result of alcohol
consumption such as
fights, car accidents,
pedestrian accidents and
liver disease)
Example Design 6: Perceptions of Alcohol and Tobacco Use in Australia, cont’d
Tobacco Example
Paragraph 2 -
Paragraph 2 - Discuss social influences of tobacco (advertising, movie stars etc) For
example:
During the 1920's there was an enormous growth of cigarette smokers as cigarettes
were made easier to inhale because of the high acid content in the tobacco paper.
Generally, statistics showed that men smoked more cigarettes than women. However,
cigarettes soon found their way into the hands of women throughout Europe and the
United States in the 1920s. The changes in society during the 1920s brought female
smoking into the open, and in the following decades advertising began specifically to
target women. The increasing engagement of women in society, particularly during the
First World War, led to greater social and financial freedom for many women, which in turn fuelled
higher smoking rates. By the end of the war, more than a quarter of Australian women were smokers,
along with almost three quarters of adult males.
Effects of nicotine such as lung, throat and mouth cancers and emphysema take a long time to be
noticed, as a result, people who had been young in the 1920s and were using tobacco product, didn't
become evident until 40 years later.
Topic sentence
-Discuss the
effects of tobacco
use of individuals
living in your
decade.
- Find and insert
statistics on effects
of tobacco use
(include morbidity
and mortality
rates as a result of
tobacco use such
as cancers,
emphysema,
bronchitis).
Example Design 7: The Conscription Debate
For this design a History teacher used Makebook as a platform to investigate the
conscription debate. This teacher used Makebook to provide students with an explicit
description of how to structure their essay, using colour to clearly delineate various sections.
The inline explanations also included generic heuristics for writing (such as ”Point, Evidence,
Explanation, Relevance”. )
Group Writing Task: Extended Response on the Conscription
Debate in Australia
This task is to prepare you for the examination
Question: Discuss why there were two referendums on conscription in Australia
during World War 1, and how did the conscription debate divide Australian society?
INSTRUCTIONS:
- This extended response will be written in groups of three. These groups have already
been assigned.
- Each group member will have to complete a section of the essay
Writer 1: Introduction, and Argument 1 & 2
Writer 2: Argument 3 & 4
Writer 3: Argument 5 & Conclusion
Click "NEXT STEP" for more instructions
Example Design 7: The Conscription Debate, cont’d
INSTRUCTIONS CONTINUED...
Your response must address these points
- Reasons as to why the Prime Minister Billy Hughes wanted to introduce conscription
-The two referendums and their outcome (dates and results)
- Divisions in Australia:
Political (Labor and Conservative politicians),
Social (Trade Unionists, business leaders, women, and soldiers),
Religious (Protestant and Catholic - Archbishop Daniel Mannix)
- The sources below must be directly referred to within your response and discussed in
relation to their perspective. Click on the link below to view the sources.
Conscription Sources
Click "Next Step" to view an essay guide to help you. Writer 1 must write the
introduction and Argument 1 in their own words. Writer 3 must write the conclusion in
their own words.
Example Design 7: The Conscription Debate, cont’d
Introduction
Contextualise the historical period (i.e. dates) and then
directly answer the question
by outlining the arguments to follow
Australians contributed throughout the duration of the First
World War which began in 1914 and ended with the signing of
the armistice in 1918. Australian volunteers fought in the war as
members of the British Empire. As the years progressed feelings
of excitement and patriotism waned as casualty figures rose
within the Australian Infantry Force (AIF). It is within this context
that Prime Minister Billy Hughes attempted to introduce military
conscription through two unsuccessful referendums in 1916 and
in 1917. The conscription debate caused much division within
political, social, and religious sectors of Australian society. Both
sides of the conscription debate used rigorous forms of
propaganda to promote their case.
Body
Think PEER: Point, Explanation, Evidence, Relevance
The side panel was not only used to guide
students on what to include in their essay, but
also to coordinate the collaborative writing
process by including specific instructions on
each student's role. Students were required to
author their compositions in groups so that they
could identify best practice and offer each other
suggestions. Teacher scaffolding also included
specific questions for students to ask
themselves as they wrote to make sure that
they appropriately referred to sources in their
argument. This supported higher order writing
processes such as evidence based
argumentation.
Writer 1
Introduction:
- Remember this must be in
your own words
- Contextualise the
historical period (i.e. dates
and situation)
- Outline the main
arguments of the essay
Example Design 7: The Conscription Debate, cont’d
Paragraph 1: An explanation of why Billy Hughes wanted to introduce
conscription in
1916
Topic Sentence (Point): In 1916, after returning to Australia from the
Western Front, Prime Minister Billy Hughes announced his plans to introduce
military conscription in an attempt bolster the Allied force.
Explanation and Evidence: By June 1916, voluntary enlistment in the AIF
was less than half of the 16 5000 men per month who were needed to
sustain Australia’ fighting capacity. The battle of the Somme in 1916 had
resulted in a significant loss of Australian lives, and as men returned with
horrific stories from the front, voluntary enrolments drastically decreased.
Relevance: To address this issue of declining enrolments Prime Minister
Hughes introduced the first conscription referendum on the 28th October
1916.
Paragraph 2: Details about both the 1916 and 1917 referendums i.e.
results and outcome
Topic Sentence: By introducing conscription through a referendum Hughes
sought the power to conscript men for military service outside Australia
PEER - Statistics about the first referendum
- Why the second referendum was introduced
- Results of the second referendum
-Lead into sentence about the political divisions
Writer 1
Argument 1
Paragraph 1:
- Read over the sample
paragraph
-Now construct your own
which explains why Prime
Minister Hughes wanted to
introduce conscription
Paragraph 2:
-Read the sample topic
sentence and key dot
points which must be
addressed
- Remember to include
statistics representing the
results of both referendums
Example Design 7: The Conscription Debate, cont’d
Paragraph 3: Political division and reference to Source A and
Source B
Topic Sentence Theme: Formation of the Nationalist Party 1917
PEER - Conservative political parties’ support for conscription
- Labor Party’s opposition to conscription
- Lead into sentence about social divisions
Paragraph 4: Social division and reference to Source C
Topic Sentence Theme: Trade Unionists and Conservative
business leaders
PEER - Trade Unionists fear of cheap labour and female labour
-Conservative business leaders supporting the British Empire
Writer 2
Argument 3
Paragraph 3:
- Construct your own topic sentence,
explaining how Prime Minister Hughes left
the Labor Party in 1917 (before the 1917
referendum)
- Explain Conservative Politicians' support
for conscription:
Refer to Source A: When did Hughes
present this speech? Significance?
What is he arguing?
Explain Labor Party’s opposition to
conscription Refer to Source B: Who is
the Labor Party targeting in this poster?
Support your discussion with examples
from the visuals (pictures) and statements
-Remember to introduce social divisions
Argument 4
Paragraph 4:
-Construct your own topic sentence
referring to Trade Unionists being against
conscription and conservative business
leaders (wealthy) supporting conscription
Trade Unionists Refer to Source C: Which
paper is this extract from and when was it
written? What is the writer’s main argument
against
Example Design 7: The Conscription Debate, cont’d
Paragraph 5:
Writer 2
Paragraph 5:
-Construct your own topic sentence outlining divided attitudes
amongst women and soldiers
Women supporting conscription
Refer to Source D: What is the message of the poster? How
have the visuals (pictures) been used to convey (express) this
message?
-Remember to discuss divided attitudes amongst soldiers. Refer
to specific attitudes to strengthen your argument.
Paragraph 6:
Social Division and Reference to Source D
Topic Sentence Theme:
Social Division amongst women and soldiers
PEER
-Women some for and some against conscription
- Soldiers some for and some against conscription
Writer 3
Argument 5
-Construct a topic sentence outlining the Protestant Church
support for conscription and the Catholic Church being against
conscription
-Protestant Church: Remember to emphasize their pro-British
stance
-Catholic Church: Remember to emphasize the link between
many Irish Catholics being against supporting the British Empire
and the role of Archbishop Mannix in the anti-conscription
campaign
-Select from sources E, G, and F (include all or a
combination)
Source E: How does Mannix perceive conscription? Who are the
supporters of conscription according to Mannix?
When and where were his comments published?
Source F: How does historian O’Farrell describe Mannix? Who
does O’Farrell identify as pro-conscription in Australia?
Source G: Where and when did Mannix make these comments?
What is he arguing? What was his aim
in expressing such strong words?
Example Design 7: The Conscription Debate, cont’d
Conclusion
Sum up the argument in relation to the question and re-state the main
arguments using different wording to your introduction
Therefore it becomes apparent that the conscription debate of 1916-17 resulted in much
political, social and religious based division in Australian society. During the conscription
campaign various forms propaganda composed by both for and against parties fiercely
circulated with the assistance of leading figures such as Prime Minister Billy Hughes and
Archbishop Daniel Mannix. Although both referendums were unsuccessful in introducing
conscription, the close results reflected the large degree to which this issue deeply
separated Australian society.
Writer 3
Conclusion
-Remember this must be in
your own words.
Suggestions of
words .............
-Re-state the main
arguments using different
wording to your
introduction and do not
raise new points within
your conclusion
Teachers generally found the Makebook program:
 Made it easier to provide students with examples and suggestions, for students to provide
one another with feedback, for them as teachers to provide feedback to their students.
 It simpler for students to make several revisions,
 Increased their enjoyment of and confidence in teaching sustained writing.
 Increased their confidence in using technology,
 Increased the likelihood that they would provide their students with opportunities to make
revision to their writing and would attempt to provide students with more feedback about
their writing in future.
Specific feedback included:
 “I found the guided task very helpful in scaffolding student work and explicitly outlining
my expectations”
 “the guided task where students could view the instructions and see how examples were
written is helpful for students, as it keeps them on task and on track; these instruction and
examples are always there so that students have access to them anytime they log into
Makebook and the specific task.”
 ‘the side panel was great in reinforcing demands of the task and reminding students of the
key features which need to be included within their writing”
 “having a step by step side bar in guided tasks was excellent.”
Teachers reported some differences in the extent to which students had been able to
effectively use the Makebook program. One teacher reported that her high ability class
managed the program well but that her low ability class had struggled with the technology,
and had performed better with a pen and paper version of the task. Another teacher,
however, said that there were benefits of the Makebook program for low ability students,
including assistance with presentation skills and keeping track of their work.
Teachers reported that individual differences in the extent to which students are able to
effectively use technology can sometimes lead to what they labelled a “technology two-speed
classroom”, where some students steam ahead while teachers often lose control over other
sections of the class that may have been more engaged with paper and pen tasks.
Teachers also reported some difficulties with using the Makebook program to engage
students in the collaborative writing process. Teachers reported concern over the fact that
only one student was able to work on the document at one time, reporting that students
could become distracted when they were not actively engaged in the task. Students reportedly
had mixed reactions to collaborative writing using the Makebook program. Some students
had enjoyed it, but other students had experienced difficulties, including not wanting to
chare their work with others, and becoming frustrated by not being able to see what others
were doing and the length of time they were spending on the program. (See Suggested
Changes below.)
The learning designs that teachers created demonstrated that the Makebook program both facilitated a
range of pedagogies and enabled others. These included:
1. Specification and efficient dissemination of explicit task instructions
2. Construction and distribution of exemplars (or ‘models’) by teachers
3. Simple creation of aesthetically appealing resources (by both teachers and students)
4. Provision of scaffolding about how to write effectively (both specific point-of-need scaffolding as
well as more general writing principles)
5. Relevant integration of audio and video to provide students with multimedia instructional materials
6. Provision of scaffolding about how to use the technology to support multimedia construction\
7. individualized tasks that enable students to critically reflect upon one another’s work and to provide
suggestions to help improve the quality of the text.
8. Collaborative writing tasks that enable students to learn by negotiating the best structure and
syntax for their compositions.
9. Scaffolding to support effective group work interactions (such as turn taking and approaches to
providing feedback). Tasks involving more than one text type to enable comparison and contrast of
different genres.
The learning designs that teachers created demonstrated that the Makebook program both facilitated a
range of pedagogies and enabled others. These included:
1. Specification and efficient dissemination of explicit task instructions
2. Construction and distribution of exemplars (or ‘models’) by teachers
3. Simple creation of aesthetically appealing resources (by both teachers and students)
4. Provision of scaffolding about how to write effectively (both specific point-of-need scaffolding as
well as more general writing principles)
5. Relevant integration of audio and video to provide students with multimedia instructional materials
6. Provision of scaffolding about how to use the technology to support multimedia construction\
7. individualized tasks that enable students to critically reflect upon one another’s work and to provide
suggestions to help improve the quality of the text.
8. Collaborative writing tasks that enable students to learn by negotiating the best structure and
syntax for their compositions.
9. Scaffolding to support effective group work interactions (such as turn taking and approaches to
providing feedback). Tasks involving more than one text type to enable comparison and contrast of
different genres.
The quality of the learning designs were also observed to be enhanced by incorporating
authentic, meaningful, and relevant tasks that support students to shift from lower order
comprehension-based thinking to more higher order analytic and creative thinking. A fading
approach to scaffolding whereby the amount of instructional guidance is gradually reduced
(enables students to become more autonomous creators of extended compositions.
Improvements to the program were suggested in a variety of areas. One important change was
suggested to the way in which collaboration was organized as a series of individual contributions, since
students tended to be disengaged while they were waiting to make their contribution to the task.
Students revealed that they would often prefer to discuss their writing and write together. The program’s
designers have responded that they will amend the program to allow for chapter based collaboration.
This will underscore the social networking aspect of the program and would allow for international
collaboration such as a Japanese class in Japan mentoring a Japanese class in Australia. They also
plan to include a notepad in the program which will allow students to note down ideas and research
information.
Teachers also commented that they encountered some problems with the technology itself and
suggested the provision of clearer instruction booklets and more user friendly prompts and other
facilities to make the program simple and easier to navigate, which the designers have undertaken to
do.

The use of an online collaborative writing program to develop boys’ writing capabilities was perceived by
teachers to be effective in a variety of areas. Use of the Makebook program enabled teachers to gain
more confidence and enjoyment in their teaching of sustained writing and made the teaching of
sustained writing easier. Students both liked and made use of the exemplary models and scaffolds which
the tea~E1iers created to support their sustained written composition. The program also had a positive
impact on teachers’ confidence in using technology in their teaching, although lack of technology
resources both at school and at home remained an issue. Other positive impacts were made on the
teachers’ attitudes to providing more examples and suggestions (e.g. models and scaffolds), providing
opportunities for collaboration when writing, allowing students to make several revisions when writing
and the provision of on-going formative feedback. These last four are all treatments which have been
shown to improve the quality of students’ sustained writing and the Makebook system intrinsically
delivers them to students.

The teachers in this study came from a wide range of key learning areas and a number had never
thought of themselves as teachers of writing. The study asked them to use research-based treatments
such as the use of models and scaffolds, peer-collaboration and technology to support their students’
creation of sustained written compositions. The task of creating the units of work was challenging,
especially for those teaching in areas not traditionally associated with the teaching of writing such as
Science, Mathematics and PD/H/PE. The units they produced are exemplars of how to explicitly and
systematically teach students to produce authentic written texts.
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