學前儿童的心理需要
Psychological Needs of Pre-Schoolers
Fremont Chinese Evangelical Free Church
Parenting Group
Melvin W. Wong, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
www.ChristianMentalHealth.com
(510) 794-8898
Outline of Parenting Workshop
Fremont Chinese Evangelical Free Church
Welcome You!
Session 1
Fundamentals of Child Psychology
Questions & Answer Session
Session 2
Current Issues & Child Development
Questions & Answer Session
Please Stay for Refreshment
What Makes your Baby Tick?
Brain weight in grams/ounces
Adulthood
E
Brain weight stabilizes,
maximized around 12-14 yr old
D
C
B
5-yr old: 1300 gm = 46 oz
3-yr old: 1200 gm = 42 oz
2-yr old: 1000 gm = 35 oz
1-yr old: 800 gm = 28 oz
A
E: 9-months: 400 gm = 14.00 oz
D: 8-months: 300 gm = 10.50 oz
C: 7-months: 210 gm = 7.35 oz
B: 6-months: 110 gm = 3.85 oz
A: 5-months: 45 gm = 1.56 oz
Understanding Brain Growth in
Neonatal Development
• The brain grows in stages
– Most rapid growth between baby to 6 year old
– 80-90% of brain growth completed: 6 year old
• Obstacles to brain growth (generally irreversible)
– Toxic substances: Drug-alcohol-radiation-stress hormones
• Pickling of brain cells causing hardening & deterioration
– Head traumas: Tearing of brain connections
• Enhances to brain growth (Brain is a muscle)
– Eye-hand activities, happy mood, secure environment
Good Or Bad to hold your Child?
Security Building: Physical Attachment gives rise to Pleasure
“Hush a bye baby on the tree top…”
Develop Happy Emotions & Childhood Fun
Don’t let Negative Emotions last too long
Stages of development
• Babies & Children grow in stages & phases
• Weaned from nursing, Toilet training
– Learn to eat Solids: Self-Feeding
• Learning to walk, learning to talk
• Learning to be independent of mother
– Testing separation & attachment: Security
• Leaving mother & attaching to father
– Exploring the environment: Understands others
Stages of development
• Identity as an individual develops (Imitational learning)
– Around 18 months to 48 months
“Monkey See Monkey Do”
Stages of development
• Identity as an individual develops (Imitational learning)
– Around 18 months to 48 months
• Gender-Identity Imprinting & Formation
–
–
–
–
Around 18 months to 48 months
Sons attach to Father: Masculine Identity
Daughters attach to Mother: Feminine Identity
Opposite sex parent helps to polarize Identity
• Some parallel play
• Reading & educational training can take place
• Learning to separate from parents: Preschool
Brain growth and IQ issues
• Frontal Cortex is the last part to grow
– Moral issues & Empathic understanding
• Pre-Frontal Cortex is the second last to complete
– Execution of decisions & higher judgment
• Important to help kids in delay gratification
– “Self-Regulation of Emotions & Desires”
• Best time to increase kids’ curiosity & fun
– “Stimulus Response” (Libraries & Book Stores)
Practical Ways in Building up the Confidence
and Security of your Child
• For every 6 or 7 praises you may admonish once
• Talk Positively instead of Negatively
– ‘Don’t spill your milk or I will beat you up!”
– ‘Hold your cup carefully, I know you can make it!”
– “Don’t let me find you hitting your baby sister!”
– “Let’s love your baby sister! You are a good brother you can take care of her!”
• Avoid “Shame” and “Blame”
– “Why are you so stupid and your brother so smart?”
• Say often to your Child “I am proud of you!”
• Hold and Touch your Child in Good times & Bad
Questions & Answers Session
Issues of Brain Development
Scheduling Nursing & Feeding (organized world)
Sleep Routine
Eating Routine: Feed him or let him feed self?
Timing of Potty Training
Terrible Two: How to enrich your kid?
What's wrong with
"I bring up my child the way I
was brought up by my parents!"
• This is a secure-sure fire position: Tried & True
• May not fit the current context of child rearing
– Asian: More extended-family community based
– Western: More personal-individually based
•
•
•
•
When parents have problems: Kids will suffer
Needs flexibility in parenting: Kids are flexible
Issue of corporal punishment: Negative outcome
Authoritarianism: Threatening & force:
– Adversarial positions: Win-Lose paradigm
“More…Punishment…Child…More Violent”
Physical Punishment: Disrespect
“Physical Punishment Hereditary!”
What Is Silicon Valley Culture
Picture credit: Time (Digital) Magazine
Priorities of Silicon Valley Culture
Picture credit: Time (Digital) Magazine
Priorities of Silicon Valley Culture
Picture credit: Time (Digital) Magazine
“Greed Drives Silicon Valley Culture?”
Picture credit: Time (Digital) Magazine
The pitfalls of the “Affluent
Silicon Valley Culture"
• “As long as I am Smart everything will work out”
• “Competition is the name of the game!”
– “He who has the most toys wins!”
• “If I can pay for it, it will be fixed”
– Over-use of therapy and self-help groups
• “Everybody will be young, beautiful, perfect, pain-free”
– Kids don’t know how to take failure
• “If you only work hard, you will get ahead”
– No accommodation for individual differences & timing
What breaks the Spirit of a Young Child
Fear is experienced more often than Love
• Threats are used to make child obey
– Physical punishment in the name of discipline
– Oppressiveness over logic in demands for obedience
– “Hate” begins to take hold for the oppressor
– Child “hates” self and others
• Anger turned Inward becomes Depression
– “Lazy” “Slow” “ADD” “Disorganized” Kid
– Video games & TV becomes only interest
Good Father & Mother
Relationship & Parenting
• When relationship is Good between Parents
– Child Feels Happy & Secure: Not Abandonment Fears
– Parents give kids Positive example of Marital Relationship
• Child learns Optimism in adult dating relationships
• Unconsciously sets up an “Marriage Anticipation framework”
• When relationship is Bad between Parents
– They use kids as “Messengers” “Go-Between”
• Kids bear the Emotional Burden of Adults
– “Tell your father I hate him!”
– Love-hate Dilemma: Increases kids attention
• Reduces academic performance: Family is priority
Divorce and Re-Marriage
Impacts on Child Development
Pre-Divorce: Family environment is tense
• Kids are sensitive to the tension between parents
• Kids try to avoid this tension: Start Defenses
– “Be Perfect, my parents will stay together”
– “Take care of parents’ Emotional needs”
• Role Reversal: Missed out on Self-Development
• Kids grow up to become “Rescuer” “Hero”
– Fear of abandonment & Separation: Dependency
– Sacrifices self development to avoid separations
Bilingualism: Should I speak Chinese at home?
"This may slow down my child's speech!"
• Brain functioning of a Child is “Robust”
– Language is like learning musical instruments
• Bilingual Kids’ language Development is slower
– Preschooler will catch up to speed within 3-6 months
• Bilingualism is a Strength and not a Weakness
– It’s easier to learn a new language before 12
– New language skills Stimulate brain functioning (exercise muscle)
– Helps in Novel problem Solving Skills: Innovation
• Kids develop diversity & multicultural understanding
Multilingualism
“Children brought up
to speak two or
more languages
find it easier to
develop other skills
too”
The Sunday Telegraph
September 2, 2000
London, United Kingdom
Moral Issues: Violence, Pornography, ChildAbuse, Homosexuality and Child Development
• Violence: Feeds the darker side of all people
– Depressed kids like it: It gives them a “lift”
– Angry kids like it: One way to get even
• Pornography: Internet (Supply & Demand)
– Sexual curiosity is normal but not addiction
• Child-Abuse: Emotional Time-bomb
– Kids are defenseless: As Adults they defeat self
• Homosexuality: Sex education begins at home
Questions & Answers Session
Recommend some Good Books
Questions & Answers Session
Recommend some Good Books
What to do with a Fussy Eater
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